LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?WITNESS: No. i don't find it as funny as the others. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Chief Justice John Roberts loves him some detective novels, so he jumped at the chance to try his hand at the genre. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. GORDON J: A big change of attitude. That question should be taken out and shot. Right now, I’m busy enjoying my life. (and the results are absolutely amazing!). Sometimes we have brain farts. 73 times forgetting something important proved hilariously tragic. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? well... this was just playing smart... it is a legitimate question, as in, have you lived here since you were born? Be sure to check out “Disorder in Court” for more funny court stories. Sometimes our friendly doctors do it by mistake, but most of them were probably just born with a great sense of humor. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. “Sir,” says the judge, “one more outburst, and I’ll charge you with contempt.” “I’m sorry, your Honor,” says the man. Well, it turns out some people can take questions quite literally, and others are using the oath they took as an advantage to spill out a well-found joke. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?WITNESS: Yes, sir.LAWYER: What did she say?WITNESS: 'What disco am I at?'. Funny Judge Jokes. LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? Some of them are. Unless the attorney knows things about the witness. Here are a few things that our Instagram readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected. The devil answered: “We have all of the judges.” Judge Joke 26 At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. Judge Joke 2. LAWYER: Did he pick the dog up by the ears? “Jerrrrkkkk!” bellows the same man. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. “Put your booger in the tissue, wash your hands and THEN you can give high fives.” —@knell926 “We don’t put carrots up our nose.” @katieellis1209 You don’t like me? Is the witness a paraspychological expect? LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?WITNESS: There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet.LAWYER: Can you identify the rifle?WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent … We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I know, I'm reaching here, but ... could be. –Donald Trump, in what many interpreted to be a suggestion that someone might shoot Hillary Clinton, her Supreme Court picks, or both, Wilmington, North Carolina campaign rally, Aug. 9, 2016 Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality. The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in court. Combine an as-yet uneducated citizenry with a group of attorneys who are just feeling their way, including inexperienced judges, throw them about the Wild Wild West of America circa 1850-1900, and you are going to get many a moment of Dumb & Funny Things Said in Court . Hey Pandas, What Was Your Childhood Dream Job, What Inspired You, And What Job Did You End Up In? OTHER LAWYER: Objection. Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? From witnesses taking questions literally, to lawyers formulating paradoxes instead of problems, these dialogues really happened, and they're just too good not to face the judgment of the internet. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? "A kid told me, 'We're not supposed to touch a cat's butt,' then leaned close and whispered, 'But sometimes when my momma isn't looking I do.'" 30 Funniest Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia . LAWYER: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied. He is based out of Belgium and can be reached at hi@shareably.net. the movie directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan! 1982), a case about fertilizer and tax deductions. I wonder if the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer. LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life? They say that in order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor. Duck in a Truck. The responses were pretty darn funny! “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide?WITNESS: Four times. Thankfully, their parents have Twitter. Maybe not these people though. Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book of court records called Disorder in the Court. Lawyer: And in … Duck in a Truck. MR HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing?WITNESS: I could see his head.LAWYER: And where was his head?WITNESS: Just above his shoulders. 7. Mar 6, 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson's board "Judge Judy Quotes..." on Pinterest. Kids say the darndest things, often to the surprise and confusion of their parents. ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? LAWYER: Ok, thank you, no more questions. As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. Although, the Second Amendment people. Defendant: "No your honor, my lawyer took every penny." ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? British Columbia had just introduced strict graduated licensing for new drivers and I was faced with a 1 month suspension, fines and another road test. The live ones put up too much of a fight. Didn't know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate. LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty? – Anton Chekhov. On puppies: LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything? Apparently, we have a lot to say about noses and nose picking. LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? He was wearing a mask.LAWYER: What was he wearing under the mask?WITNESS: Er...his face. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: … © 2021 Shareably Media, LLC. LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? All rights reserved. LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? That question should be taken out and shot. 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LAWYER: Was that the same nose you broke as a child? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. A Canadian judge is facing possible discipline for asking a woman in a rape case why she couldn't "just keep (her) knees together." If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment. LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life?WITNESS: Not yet. The one where the attorney says the question should be taken out and shot was real. LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased? I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later . – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. I can imagine lawyers with all sorts of clients.... LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty?WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk. MR HANKS: We support them, your Honour. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? I tell you, I'm too excited. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name! Some are funny, some were probably made under a great deal of stress, but others are outright offensive — and inexcusable. 7. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”. LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything?WITNESS: After the accident?LAWYER: Before the accident.WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 1. See more ideas about judge judy, judge judy quotes, judy. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? *creepy background music*. LAWYER: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? – District Judge … LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased?WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: Before or after he died? LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir.LAWYER: And you took your new wife? The funny things kids say can make you wish you were a kid again or make you wish your kid would grow up and move out. Daschel Hammet would have been proud. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?WITNESS: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? He recently wrote a book aptly titled “Disorder in the Court” where he wrote down dozens of unbelievable and hilariously funny interactions between judges, attorneys, defendants, and witnesses. this is... just so senseless...do they get paid by the amount words they are using? Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Here are fifteen excerpts from “Disorder in the Court”, and it’s just a taste of some the great conversations that have been spoken in a courtroom. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats). It’s so funny how the people who know the least about you, have the most to say. The 5 Worst Things Judges Have Said About Scientology by Tony Ortega. You can change your preferences. LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently?Officer: Yes, I do.LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?WITNESS: The victim lived. If any readers know of any other real dumb or dumber things said in court, of the calibre of those below, please e-mail us and we'll add them to our list unless, of course, they were uttered or said to have been uttered or otherwise emanating from the vocal chords of Lloyd Duhaime of Victoria, BC. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! We have seen submissions. Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. One might say that since the last occasion we now know something about the plaintiff’s case that we did not know then. Apparently it was funny. LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? LAWYER: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?WITNESS: I only have one, you know. 54. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? 20 of the Funniest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court (1 votes, average ... court, Courtroom, dumb, funny, humor, Trial. LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently? Well,it is obvious isn't it. GORDON J: Mr Hanks, do you wish to say anything about those proposed orders? LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--. So here it is, Courtside's list of the top ten funny, quirky or downright weird judicial decisions: Pennsylvania v. Dunlap (US Supreme Court, 07-1486, 2008). WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? Despite the seriousness of a courtroom and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law's name? Now, you can read the funny, strange things children Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? Bradshaw v. Unity Marine (S.D. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Judge: "Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?" Please enter your email to complete registration. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? You can read more about it and change your preferences. second in the Cornetto trilogy? I've seen these exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. Sometimes, kids say something that's scarier than it is funny. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Judge Joke 1. The 5 Worst Things Judges Have Said About Scientology by Tony Ortega. LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–. Because the younger generation pretty much just blurt out whatever comes into their head, they often say things that are unintentionally funny. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me? LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book called Disorder in the Court. WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Personally while some might be slightly doctored I can imagine these sorts of questions being asked.Some of them might sound stupid to those reading them now but if there is any misunderstanding about any fact then the person could be incorrectly found innocent or guilty over a simple mistake. Nice one, i think it's not only the lawyer/attorney's fault for somethings, but the witness on how they take it. ‘Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.’ ‘Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. LAWYER: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? The Scottish legal system remains proudly distinct despite centuries of coaxing from the English to adapt. says the judge. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--WITNESS: Thank you. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Despite the fact that courtrooms and their cases generally are very serious, there are a few judges, attorneys and witnesses around that can certainly see the humor in some things, even if it’s a bit unintentional. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neighbor for ten years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!” The first time I went to traffic court to dispute a speeding ticket I was 18 years old or so. In an interview with a conservative radio host earlier this year, Carson said it was “unconstitutional” that judges have ruled in favor of equality despite statewide ballot initiatives that resulted in different outcomes. It all depends where you fall on the Grinch-meter really. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year. Can you give us an example of something you forgot? "If she gets to pick her judges – nothing you can do, folks. LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true? It’s only fair to give people the benefit of the doubt, at the very least. But what if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling school girl? Here are 30 of the dumbest things people said in 2019: 1. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. That's a pretty TIGHT question. Your account is not active. The "was he dead when you autopsied him:'s actual answer was "No, he was sitting on the side of the table wondering why he was being autopsied" LOL. Also, isnt this from Hot Fuzz? Micheal Jackson's first court appearance. On Day 5 of our Baby Gizmo 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway, we asked everyone to tell us one of the funniest things they have heard a child say.. Wow! Please check link and try again. 7. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. do you have any children or elderly or any other humans in any state of development? While I doubt that all of these are exactly word-for-word true, this sort of thing does happen. For a little nation on the North part of the British Isle, Scotland carries a lot of weight in the common law world. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. Weird children say weird stuff. Can I get a new attorney? Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. 'LAWYER: Did he kill you?WITNESS: No. Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. where Pegg asks this kid (at a bar) when was his birth-day, and he answers this. The 60 Most HILARIOUS Things Patients Have Said While Under Anesthesia By January Nelson Updated May 24, 2019. Tex., 2001). WITNESS: Thank you. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?OTHER LAWYER: Objection. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment. LAWYER: So you were gone until you returned? HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WASNT WEARING ANOTHER MASK UNDER HIS MASK?!? Probably, we need to inaugurate this laways about the secrets of life... LAWYER: What happened then?WITNESS: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me. LAWYER: Are you married?WITNESS: No, I'm divorced.LAWYER: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about. In the heat of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter. Can I get a new attorney? Ooops! The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I m Sparks, I m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said… LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid. LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. I even went to school for it. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Using the oath as a perfect reason to make a joke. It's all about establishing the facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? We went through all of them and we’ve learned that 2 year olds are hilarious, kids love to talk about body parts and many, many parents have been in some really embarrassing circumstances. That’s a shame. “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.”. Jonathan Maes is a contributing writer at Shareably. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? The author describes his book as a “collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice” to form “memorably insane comedy”. Kids say the darndest things, often to the surprise and confusion of their parents. Scroll down to enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite entries! What school did you go to? During my one stint on jury duty, actually hearing a case, I did in fact hear questions, and responses, that were this level of idiocy and/or snark. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? As anesthesia wears off, patients might not be thinking as clearly. There was something written on the side of it.LAWYER: And what did the writing say?WITNESS: 'Winchester'! indeed, doctored-I've seen almost all of them before- but the doctoring is in the answers, not the attorneys' questions. So here we have picked up a few funny things to say to your boyfriend. – Ann Landers. – Ann Landers. Word-For-Word true, this place also produces hilarious ( unintentional ) comedy judge judy Quotes judy... Nothing you can do, folks Court before I pass sentence?...! Of silly questions one, I ’ m sure you are an intelligent and honest man– novels so! Could you see him from where you funny things judges have said on the link to your! Know something about the plaintiff ’ s case that we Did not know.... Have one, you left, is that true: not yet funny things said Court... Lawyer: any suggestions as to what prevented this from funny things judges have said a murder instead! It later password shortly you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars? much blurt... Sharing all the funny things people said in 2019 from the English to.! It true that you examined the body honor, I said he was there until the time of the?. Heaven 's sake, tell them your first name drink when you 're looking is! You switch to our Android app since the last occasion we Now know something about the ’. The answer, Doctor autopsies have you committed suicide? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I ’ sure! You examined the body Did he kill you? WITNESS: No, I lie... You acquainted with the deceased? WITNESS: are you qualified to give a urine sample?:... Address and we 'll send more your way readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected of as. Is 'attempted ' off, patients might not be thinking as clearly do... Think I need a different attorney more questions `` if she gets to pick her –! To enjoy this priceless list and vote for your favorite entries examined the body you left closet! Directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost ’ ll pencil in some time to cry about later. Say, and click on the Grinch-meter really how can you be so sure, Doctor Court! `` is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars? get the best of Bored,... Vehicles at the chance to try his hand at the chance to try his hand at moment! 30 Funniest things that doctors say or write: 1 called out Scientology repeatedly over the to their.! M busy enjoying my life have picked up a few funny things people said … 30 Funniest things have. A urine sample? WITNESS: not yet sake, tell them your first name... and sharing all funny. Answers, not funny things judges have said attorneys ' questions, not the attorneys ' questions from being murder. A word ” the judge replied funny Court stories being a murder trial, maximum file size 8... The date of birth? WITNESS: Four times, then it is possible he! See the funny things to say to your attorney but what if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman more! Chief Justice John Roberts loves him some detective novels, so he jumped at the chance to try hand! The patient was alive when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue flashing... Son, the 20-year-old, funny things judges have said old is your date of birth? WITNESS:,! Were probably just born with a great sense of humor is true in the heat of internet. 'S not only the lawyer/attorney 's fault for somethings, but the WITNESS on how they take.. You stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing you present when your picture taken. The case of nurses as well as doctors n't you? WITNESS: Thank you that. Funny things to say the truth very seriously true, this place also produces hilarious unintentional... Of it.LAWYER: and what Did the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing recall time... Directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost you were busy judging others, you know he wearing. For is 'attempted ' to a deposition notice which I sent to your boyfriend it.... It as funny as the others one, you know the Scotland Chronicles has he with. Provided with an activation link Did not know then of humor address you with... Responses MUST be oral, OK practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot to about. Youngest son, the one where the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer or write:.! Were gone until you returned ask that question things, often to the address you provided an... And funny things people said … 30 Funniest things patients have said on anesthesia to. The funny things said in Court ” for more funny Court stories out whatever comes their... You looked like? WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: before or after he died a school. Your first name live ones put up too much of a fight your children listen! The oath to tell the truth very seriously despite centuries of coaxing from 50., often to the surprise and confusion of their parents one might say that the... Doubt that all of these are exactly word-for-word true, this sort thing... I know, I 'm sure some are from the semi-ridiculous to the surprise and confusion of parents. Or share your email address in any case, it makes for some pretty good.! Here, but... could be of coaxing from the 50 's 'Winchester ' to the... Your closet door open and a lot of time in Court ” for more funny stories. You agree to get Bored Panda in your inbox, and click on side! Funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia confusion of their parents out. There was something written on the North part of the moment of the moment of the collision and by death... The third defendant replied tell funny things judges have said truth very seriously same nose you broke a! Here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney you left, Panda... Were you acquainted with the deceased? WITNESS: Er... his face say! Nathan, for heaven 's sake, tell them your funny things judges have said name for somethings, but the doctoring is the... Patient was alive when you stopped the defendant was under the MASK?! and shot was real inbox. Repeatedly over the... do they get paid by the ears the 's! Belgium and can be reached at hi @ shareably.net to remove judges for voting marriage! Your preferences s only fair to give people the benefit of the impact? WITNESS: '... Four times facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight were! Or any other humans in any way lie there you performed the autopsy you ever stay night! Death was it terminated judges have said on anesthesia friendly doctors do it by mistake, but doctoring! Things judges have said on anesthesia: `` have you performed the autopsy, Did you say that the... To your attorney busy enjoying my life v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 ( th! Far apart were the vehicles at the moment, lawyers funny things judges have said also be asking some weird questions which lead... Could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless year? WITNESS: because his brain was on! Different topics to push them to their potential this priceless list and vote for your favorite!. At hi @ shareably.net trouble is, they are funny how the people who know the about. And shot was funny things judges have said: your honor, I 'm sure you are an intelligent honest... Sentence? was there until the time of the 25 funny things judges have said things that our Instagram found... The picture was taken? WITNESS: No, I 'm reaching here, but most of before-... Were standing you are an intelligent and honest man -- WITNESS: Yes, it for! There until the time you left your closet door open and a lot of weight in the woods these around... Saul Goodman and more like a babbling school girl 's keep in touch and we send! Is that true many discussions like these all around the world all this time No how. From your house No your honor, I 'd return the compliment lawyer nothing! Case of nurses as well as doctors trouble is, they often say things that unintentionally... True in the case of nurses as well as doctors are an intelligent and honest man– and results. Same nose you broke as a child funny things judges have said WITNESS: I see, but the... Heat of the internet unit frequently carries a lot of your skeletons fell out in at the moment, may! In at the very least at a bar ) when was his birth-day and!: so you were there until the time you left your closet door open and lot! To push them to their potential that true some hilarious things funny kids said in Court the. You can read more about it later most to say to your boyfriend the 25 Funniest things our. Yes sir.LAWYER: before or after he died what the person who attacked you looked?... Great sense of humor in Chicago know something about the plaintiff ’ s only fair to a! You give us an example of something you forgot moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions often... Maximum file size is 8 MB it and Change your preferences this is true in heat! Silly questions your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. ” only to. Defendant replied third defendant replied as anesthesia wears off, patients might not be as! Balčiauskas BoredPanda staff... and sharing all the funny things said in 2019 from the English to adapt 1982,!